I should be charging you for this trip

See way back in the day, when being a real person had a point, before I understood life better. I let petty shit bother me. I let the world around me effect my mood. This is also before i discovered gin. So, where to begin. I should began at the end. The snow is a gray colours, that is due to the the amount of shit us american waste on a day to day basis. But, I regress. Sometime it takes a little bit of rum for me to open my eyes and see all the truth that i missed. I miss you, I miss you.... again i resort back to the past and the past is only a memory I want to have a future, The truth with no strings, no lost memories, no nothing,, its the year of 6..

Have u ever sat on top of a mountain looked in the distance, seeing the mountain range, and wondering how you could be so lost. Sometime though I think that being lost is the greatest gift that could ever be given. When your lost you dont know where to turn, where to go, but you can be completely unfocused. U can live. I mean really live. Only when I lost in the woods can i see my path clearly. off the beaten trail that everyone takes, finding your path, everyone see a different path to blaze. Sometimes in life we are lucky and someone will be joining us on this journey of the spirit. But, alas then there is me, sometime I just want to be such the explorer that i forget to talk with my wayword companain. Love is the only thing that is real. I know that many may disagree. But, tell me something in this world that doesnt involve love somehow? Money, the love of power. Power? the love of control. see its all connected. we are all connected with nothingness. Find you trail in the woods my friend. I miss you.. yes I do. Almost ever ten or 15 mins i think about it. I think about a lot of random shit I cant remember so why can i remember thinking about u? This is something thing i think i can only connect to love. All I think about is you.

Lost in the stars everynight. Wondering how they look upon us. See how we are so many miles apart. Feeling the night falling around me, the blackness, the darkness, the only true. Pain, sorrow, longing. Awake. Finding an another way to silence that burning desire of missing you. Some say there are things worth dying for. I have found those things. But, does that mean then I must die alone.... Longing for that moment of paradise that I once had in my finger tips, but sadly let the wrath of the world rip from me. These are my words. the only way I may express this emotional build up I have trapped inside of me. Bury the past, cause I dont want to pay.

The night, my time that I share with the darkside of the world. This is when I can truly understand how to dance. How to know the side of myself that scares simpletons. Its the dark water that draws me near, the haunting sounds of the lost ocean waves crashing on the the baren mountain sides. Seeing your shadows strectch out over the landscape. Understand the power you have to in-ter-"fear" with everyones every day life. Do you not understand the power of the heart beat? Its you heart beat I hear in my dreams. These dreams whisk me away to a tropical island where I'm alone with only your memory. I can almost feel your touch, I can almost feel your breathe. I can almost feel your pain. I can support your getaway. I can help you escape, I can make you lose that feeling of being alone. we can be happy in the little of world of your arms. You bring everything I love about shadows. we can wonder blindly in this darkness together. I just dont know how u control my ever actions. I will be there in your dreams, you can feel me cant you. cant you. Fallening away from the sun, fallening away from the gravity that holds me to this plane of reality. I close my eyes, and i see this life, this life of songs or musik. a life of pain. a life of snow drifts hiding the true contours.

Eyes open I can see only the dark sky. The burning embers of a painful world. Fireflies trapped in the mason jars. Thunder without the lightning dancing across the red coloured skies. And what if tomorrow was the last song? Would you miss this love? Miss this gentle breeze of joy, i sweep across your cheeks?

In closing, the sound of thunder bring a smile to this year of 6. There isnt much better then a winter storm when you have a hundred dollars of liquior in the liquior cabnet. If only you were here, enjoying the darkness, listening to the wind's whispering secrets, holding you. Gazing in your eyes. Lost in the passion of your body... Loving you...


post script: I should be charging you for this trip...