07 February 2016

The Cereal Bowl Series - Sally

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

For way to long the great people of this world have been wondering this very question, tonight my friends it’s time for it to be answered!

So, go pour you’re self a large bowl of cereal, and come back for this grand story.

The story begins a long time ago, in an age when things were simple. A time most of us have forgotten, or at least a time most of us can’t remember anymore. This is mainly due to the endless 24 hour TV. I know, I know who I’m I to dis TV. This magical box of lights and sounds. Ahh.. Just try to walk past a TV and not look, just try. But, this not the part of the story I want to get into tonight, we will save that story for another bowl of cereal.

Sally being a smart girl, who loved the seashore understood, that a lot of kids weren’t allowed to play near the ocean, their land loving parent thought in the olden days that Shark were dangerous creature that could come ashore and eat you. And eat you dead. Galeophobia is what it’s called in the smart college geeky kid circles!

“Martin, it's all psychological. You yell barracuda, everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell shark, we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.”

Sally being the smart girl she was understood that the Man eating sharks were just something Hollywood made up to keep people from visiting the FREE ocean, and convinced people to visit resort towns where they could swim in SAFE, not free swimming pools. This made Sally rather sad. Sally loved the salty breeze, the feeling of sand in her toes, and the colour outfits the older female children wore to impress the older boy children. She didn’t always enjoy the weird shaped balloons next to the whiskey bottle she collected for her ocean samples thou,

One day, a cold brisk day, in late March, Sally had a great idea to collect shell, sell them for a shiny coin, and let the children of the world take home a piece of her magical wonderland. This is when Sally started selling seashell by the seashore.

Sally is now a multi billionaire living in a tropical island, escape the corporate greed of the ocean front shop who sell you over price crappy seashell that they import from china, but the bastards are to lazy to walk out the back of their shops and collect the FREE one that wash up on the beach.

Damn you corporate lazy fascist pigs!

31 January 2016

The Cereal Bowl Series - The Farm

My Farm - The Cereal Farm

Today is a great day, it's Pre Cereal Day! Before you can enjoy your lovely bowl of Cereal, you must first grow that lovely goodness. That is where I come in. I now can grow my own pure pre cereal goodness!
"I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt. And watch it die. Then dry his eyes and say, 'Maybe next year.' I need somebody who can shape an ax handle from a persimmon sprout, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire, who can make harness out of haywire, feed sacks and shoe scraps. And who, planting time and harvest season, will finish his forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, then, pain'n from 'tractor back,' put in another seventy-two hours."

I thought since I lost my bid for congress of West Virginia I should still do something great! This is my hopes for greatness. Farming, the last greatness. Lets make the future Generation Great Farmers!
Somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop in mid-field and race to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor's place.

"Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field." -Dwight D. Eisenhower

"A great figure or physique is nice, but it's self-confidence that makes someone really sexy."
 Somebody who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken leg of a meadow lark. It had to be somebody who'd plow deep and straight and not cut corners. Somebody to seed, weed, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and finish a hard week's work with a five-mile drive to church

24 January 2016

The Cereal Bowl Series - The Party

I as well as my lib brothers and sisters ( not the marrying each other kind) strongly believe in absolute individual freedom so long as that freedom does not infringe on the individual freedoms of others. And this I will stick to. I will not let big money buy my votes. So here are my words!


I’m not aliquant with words, and most of the time I would rather get my message out then to proof read the entire article. Laziness, excitement and willingness to put myself on the line. These are the positive and negative traits I proudly display like a large flowerily hat worn on a crisp Monday morning in the middle of some god forsaken town, lost… Lost is the point of this message due to my rambling on.

I stand proudly with my bowl of Cereal, and while I do enjoy Shrimp, adding steak to the mix is just too far. I see that spending our tax payers’ hard earned money on almost attractive woman, who by the look of it  aren’t eating the Cereal or the steaks.

To quote a famous scholar "But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.

And write that down I did, which leads me to my next important point. See politics is an extension of one’s soul. Look at the entire soulless congress member though out our great country I will not be that soulless, mindless, pussy whipped . I will not let greed ruin me NO, or any Heartless “I’ll be home in 5 minutes honey, Ooo the meatloaf is fine, not as good as my mom makes it, but still pretty good” spineless self loving jerks. NO I will fight for the right of the little people, and maybe midgets too, if their still allowed to reside in this country. See I’m a lady that will help usher in change, real change, that kind where everything stays the same, only different.

"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body."

If you’ve got to this point in my message then, you are the type of person I like, if you’re one of those skimmers who always seem to comment on posts, but never really read the article, “You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

I will leave you with this message.

“Ever since the revolution, we've been trying to show how it is possible to overcome frustration and impotence that comes from trying to reform this system. Kids know the lines are drawn: revolution is touching all of our lives. Tens of thousands have learned that protest and marches don't do it. Revolutionary violence is the only way.” -Bernardine Dohrn (Weather Underground)
-Cute Grl