Hmmm...

Have you ever wondered why you were drawn to an area, a subject or even to a person? I ponder this daily. As I sit on my porch and stare into the vastness of space, feelings hit me. I crave these areas that I'm drawn to. I crave this future that seems so bleak. A future that surely will bring misfortune to me. But I'm still drawn to it. Excitement sweeps over me when I think about a tsunami hitting or a super storm sweeping across this planet. I don’t want to see the death of millions. Still my desire for this event is strongly present. So I need to look inward, I need to understand why I desire these grave future events. What I have found is hope. The hope that we, as humans, have. How wonderful the blue sky looks after a terrible storm, how calm and peaceful the sea appears. Seeing a single flower still standing in the midst of rubble. I see reenactments of these images in movies. I'm not overcome with fear. It's calming and it makes me feel safe. When I dream, I dream of these terrible events and sometimes I'm scared, but in the end, I feel a stronger hope. Many of you out there could say that my peace is due to the Lord’s love, but I don’t feel that this is the case. I understand the Lord’s love deeply and this peace that overcomes me is different. I do not fear death and I do not hope for my own demise.

As I stand on my mountain, I can hear the whispers of the ocean tides. I can image the waves cresting these blue peaks. I can hear the wind blow and see the clouds dance. Something is calling us, trying to tell us a secret we are missing out on. We are missing the forest for the trees. If only more of us could translate the language of the trees. They warn us, warn us of storms, drought, and of the sorrow they feel when destroyed. Here I sit again, thinking of this beautiful world we helped to shape. This lovely Mecca of human intellect and it will be gone. All gone one day. The flowers will poke holes in our highways and kudzu will cover our capitals. As I write these words, I think of the sight of seeing miles of cities covered with green overgrowth. This again strangely brings a smile to my face. Not because I want to see the destruction of my civilization, but because this image is burning into my mind that life will continue. Our lives are bond by time. Time does not start or stop, it is always in motion. It never began and it will never finish. Our souls see time as paused. Paused like the hands on your grandfather's old watch, waiting for that fateful day for someone to pick it up, admire its beauty, its craftsmanship, its memories and whined its gears.

Why tonight? I'm not sure why the 30th of January of this year of Two-Thousand and Six inspires me to write my words down. It may be that a pending event is upon us. I pray that this is not true. I have just as much to lose as everyone else, but it’s also different. I wish I could explain, but I still do not understand completely. I know that if and when I'm standing at those pearly gates, I will yield my spot to someone else. I belong here on earth, it is what runs through my veins and it is the life that is in my blood. I regress; maybe this post is to remind everyone to remember what is important in life. Tell your son, your daughter, your brother, sister, mother and father, heck tell your best friends what they mean to you. Today is never too soon, but tomorrow could be too late.

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