Aevum - Life 28.8.7

There are times when we know which direct we are heading. Everything seems clear, and we have all our dreams laid out in front of us. This is not one of those times for me. My stress levels are dangerously high. I know this cause of the way I feel. Sadly, there is nothing I can do about it. So, all you cool kyds want to know why my stress levels are so off the hook. Here is a little break down.

Money. The debt I have built up over the years. See it's so hard to plan a future when you have your past beating down on you all the time. In all my relationship course, Money is the number one reason couple fight. So, it was always my plan to have my debt dealt with before I got into another serious relationship. Funny right. Ah, no worries. I will figure it all out. That is what I'm good at doing figuring out how to make something out of nothing… Creating the unknown and making it something known.

Parents… everyone that know my parents totally understand this. Now, for those of you who don't let me give you a quick recap. I'm running my parents business. They expect me to do more then I ever imagined doing. I work hard, longer and I'm not really seeing any returns on my end for doing all of this. Sometime there are times when I know they don't understand anything about the Hospitality Business. So, because things are lacking in that field I have to make up for it in others. In a field I know almost nothing about, and where I have to spend extra time researching new idea, I should be going to bed and breakfast conferences to network and such, but we don't have it in the budget. So, this just means trial by fire. I just wish my parents understood 2 things, I'm doing my best, and trying to do better each day, and I'm never going to work myself to death, Working yourself to death isn't worth it. I'd much rather give stuff up, which I have. Then work to hard.

Relationship… My girlfriend just moved in cause the distance was killing us. So, this is huge change for me. I know it will make me months if not longer to roll with this. I know what it was like when my buddies moved in with me at my parent's house. This is kinda like that, but only a lot more complicated being my parents business. Also, I and she are polar opposites in some ways. Which don't get me wrong is something I'm totally cool with, and I think I even prefer that fact. But, there is also a lot of stress in her life. And I feel it is my duties as a good man, to help share that burden so it's not so hard for her. Don't mistake us sharing her burden as a chore. We all know I love drama, I can handle it, it just seems like Money, Parents, Relationships, and Her Stresses seem to be extremely high this particular month. So, be life I guess, so be life.

On a brighter note. I don't feel so overwhelmed that I want to give up or anything. Sometime I feel energized thinking that if we can manage this stress we can manage any level of stress thrown our way. That is truly a great feeling and something I don't think I have ever felt before. I know I hate plans, and such, but I guess a little organizing didn't really hurt the fact of being spontaneous. I want to keep my childlike view of the world, and if it means I have to keep a day planner to do that then so be it. We will get through all of this. I know it. It's not because of faith. It's just because I don't have any other path to choice. I will be wealthy, well connected, and respected. It's in my cards, in the stars, and etched in my palms.

Thanks for listening… I will journal more often, but maybe not on myspace… If I do change to journal someplace else. I will give my friends the account so they can try to understand the workings of Justyn's mind! Comments welcome! Cheers!
- Sir Justyn J. M. Baron of Mavis